Me: WHEN I WAS
Dad: what
Me: A YOUNG BOY
Dad: oh God
Me: MY FATHER
Dad: not again
Me: TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
Dad: no I didn't
Me: TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
Dad: you're not even a boy

Person: Rape is just surprise sex.
Me: Killing you would just be giving you a surprise nap.